I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
