i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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