everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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