haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
