I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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