real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i'm inner monologue high
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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