I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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