Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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