Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it's like heaven, but drunker
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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