I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She bit a glass in half.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
