After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
