I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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