just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
