please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
