I love black thongs
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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