May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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