He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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