It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
