Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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