i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize