party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
