I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
