I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
