I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
