whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
