is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
