You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
