**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My penis needs a shock collar
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
