he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
