Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize