I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
