There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize