Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i dont even know how to be here
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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