He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She announced her abortion via fbk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
