I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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