Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
