what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
