I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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