I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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