i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
