Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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