party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
