they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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