I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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