So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
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