Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
