You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
