Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
