new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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