My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
