how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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