Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
