I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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