We need to rekindle our bromance
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
