you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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