This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
