dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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