He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
