I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
