we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
