Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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