her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
