i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
