please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
