ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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