I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
