I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
