And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
