This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
