I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's rum buckets o'clock
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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