Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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