for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
