You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
