I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
