It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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