I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Barsexuality is the new black.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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