awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
