He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
