ugly people sure do ruin things
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
