We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
