For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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