Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
