If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
