I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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