I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
