thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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