No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
