Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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