I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
