i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
